When you read that heading, what goes through your mind? How does something we consider are great traits are also our worst? How can that be? Let me explain further, by breaking down a few human qualities and analyzing them.
When we are born, we are gifted with certain qualities that are considered “good” & “bad”. The inverted commas here itself signals that there is a problem. Are these “good” or “bad” qualities absolutely, undoubtedly good or bad for you and the people around you? I say this especially when taking it on a personal level, and how it affects your relationships in a broader social and professional settings, not just within the nucleus of a family.
Being ambitious
The Pros
Expecting yourself to be better at what you do professionally or at your hobbies or sports is a great attribute! You are constantly wanting to learn more, study new things, be creative and start new projects that challenge yourself. You believe that improving in yourself will open more doors of opportunity for yourself in the long run. This drive for excellence can be great when it’s either for your work professionally or when working on yourself. You always demand for more from yourself. Indeed, it’s one of the best traits to have.
You might want to get more active by hitting the gym, running or joining a Martial Arts class. Maybe you want to cut down on the junk food, alcohol and choose a healthier diet. These are all extremely beneficial to you when you strive for more. It leapfrogs you in bounds to be better professionally and in your personal life.
The Cons
Expecting the best from yourself is definitely one of the best traits to have for yourself. But, when it comes to interpersonal relationships, you can be caught expecting too much from your loved ones as well. It is in these instances where your inborn traits can be detrimental.
Encouraging a loved one to be get better at any aspect of their life is great too. But around here do we come across that kind of a grey area. This is because we need to first understand that everyone has their own pace, life goals & self-expectancies. So, it would be wise to hold on to that advice at times that you so freely offer!
The Conclusion
Remember, it is not what you expect from them, but rather: A better approach would be to have a productive conversation with them. Ask about what their expectations are in life, relationships & career are. Then, you can determine how and when you can pitch in to give a helping hand when needed.
Being kind & generous
The Pros
If you are a person that has loads of empathy as one of your key traits, it is only second nature for you to be kind & generous to people you meet in your day to day life. Listening to people’s worries & helping others makes you happy. And you know that you are making a difference in a person’s life, even if in the slightest. That is a great and noble cause, no doubt.
The Cons
But the problem here is that we meet different people from all walks of life! And while most of them might be genuine people, some of them might not be as much. There are people in this world that see your kindness & generosity as weak points. And they would not hesitate to take advantage of you through lies and manipulation. You do not want to be that naïve as to fall for such unscrupulous characters. You can read more on the subject here.
The Conclusion
Instead, in being generous, we need to make sure that we are more encouraging to a person to find his or her own way of living. Of taking responsibility & acting as a grown-up individual, instead of helping them financially. This is no truer than when we are discussing about a completely healthy person. A person who is capable as the next man do make his own money, but who loves to freeload! As the saying goes, “Give a man a fish & he will eat for one day, teach a man to fish & he will never go hungry again.”
So the fact is that you need to be craftier in keeping an eye out for bad actors and when choosing to help those who are in real need. So that it is both good for your heart, keeps you away from unwanted trouble and is truly beneficial to the other party.
Being carefree
The Pros
The always happy go lucky types, you are unfazed at absolutely nothing and are always talking and laughing. For an introverted, serious or exigent person there is a lot to learn from such individuals. They are extroverted by nature, being friendly and talkative with seemingly no filter whatsoever. Live, laugh, love – This is in a way and optimal way to live as George Meyer sounds off on this quote: “The most oblivious people are often the happiest”.
The Cons
While it is one of the best traits to possess, you might find it hard to get serious at all in situations that require so. Sometimes, however oblivious you are to the world’s ills, we need to sit down and take things seriously to alleviate problems that are persistent in our lives. At these times it is important to listen, understand and find workable solutions to make things better around you.
Also, being a friendly and happy person can attract wolves in sheep’s clothing. These people are on the look-out for vulnerable carefree individuals to prey upon.
The Conclusion
Sometimes, it is good thing to screen individuals at a deeper level to know who they are before letting them in to your life’s inner circle. Otherwise, one day it would be too late and you just might regret your decision to let your guard down at all times.
The Key Takeaway
All in all, the takeaway here is that, however good one single attribute you have may be, it can also be the inverse when it comes to different situations. So, the key thing we need to remember is that, there’s a place and time for everything. And if applied correctly & at all full force in one place you would get the best of results in life, and at the wrong place, you will get vastly underwhelming or negative results.
Obviously, when we are discussing this topic, we are always talking about extremes. If you have mastered the way to compartmentalize your actions according to your environment &/ or are naturally inclined to be more moderate, everything should be good.
What are your traits or qualities that have made you prosper in one way, and in other situations have let you down? I would like to know anecdotes from your own experiences! Let me know in the comments section below.
Leave a Reply