How to Not Care About What Others Think of You

Why do we tend to think about what other people think or say about us?  And should we really care?

One of the reasons is as humans, we are social creatures.  According to science, that is the way we have evolved now for millions of years. So, basically this social aspect has been ingrained in our genes.

As we have evolved as individuals of a group or pack, it is not surprising that we tend to think about what others think. These maybe among others, about our character, personality & actions. 

The younger you are, this tends to happen more. Especially in your teenage years, where we long to belong in a group that we see as the collective ‘ideal’ representation of ourselves.  Given this, it could be hard to not care about what others think of you. But here are 10 solid reasons why you should not:

No one knows your story

As a wise man once said: Don’t judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes.  So, you are the only person who knows your goals, dreams & timelines of your life.  Why you are at this juncture of your life and for what reason is most probably something that is privy to you only.

And no one knows the circumstances or other contributory factors that lead to a specific situation.  And just because of this, their judgment not only is irrelevant it becomes totally invalid to you.

They have their own problems

With social media presenting carefully crafted narratives of people’s lives, you might sometimes be oblivious to the flip side of the same.  But you should remember that everyone is mired in their own set of problems, just like you.

The funny thing is, people are so preoccupied with their own problems in life, that you are not even a passing thought!  Yes, they might tell you, something bad to your face when they meet you or make a snarky remark. 

But that’s it, they say that & then move on with their own lives never to give a second thought about you again, till you meet again.  So again, it’s best not to care & give zero credence to such people.

People just don’t care

Another thing is, in reality, people could care less about what you did or didn’t do!  No one gets up early in the morning and devout a good two minutes to think about you, at all.  So, you shouldn’t spend your time, thinking about what another person thinks about you as well! 

Do you see that?  You’re giving free space in your mind to someone else who doesn’t even think about you.  Instead, what you need to do is focus on the present job at hand and improving yourself on the areas that need immediate attention.

You are not the center of the universe

That is right.  One of the main reasons you think that other people might be thinking about you is that your ego puts yourself at the center of any narration that goes through your mind.  This is akin to the spotlight effect.

Think about it, every thought that you have about a past incident or about the future, unfolds from your perspective. Basically, you’re always the centerpiece of the story.  Likewise, it is the same for others. Thus, you’re just ‘one of the many “extras” in each person’s individual’s story’.

It’s none of your business

In your life, you have your family, friends, colleagues and people you meet on a day to day basis.  It seems we all have somehow being put together by the randomness of the universe in one place, to be in close proximity with each other. This has happened whether you like it or not.  

Now, for the part where you get along with them:  One of the best ways to get on with your given life is to associate the majority of the people you meet on a surface level only. 

You do not need to know what they think about you, nor should you be concerned about it. To reiterate, you shouldn’t really make it your business to know or care about what they think of you.

Nothing deep, no serious conversations about life etc.  Just skimming by talking about the weather and a few jokes would suffice for most relationships.  You don’t need to give them too much thought. And certainly not to the level of where you care about their supposed opinions about you!

You are wrong either way

As in, you can never please everyone.  And you should never try to.  As you mature, you should develop your own moral code. Your own way of thinking, life goals and the way on how you want to live your life. 

As long as you are within the law & do not harm anyone or yourself, I’m pretty sure that you are on the correct path.  Your individual choices might not fit the other person, but neither does his or hers suit you. So, you shouldn’t care at all about what they think about you.  

It is a reflection of oneself

One might say that it’s natural for people to judge others. It can actually be argued that it’s a evolutionary trait. On the other hand, this might be to take their minds off of their own inadequacies. 

You can notice it in yourselves too:  The things you find most off putting in another person, are actually the exact same traits that you don’t like about yourself too! 

Maybe you never confronted them and tried to fix them.  Or you are actually working on them.  But either way, the truth is, you get irked the most when you see the same bad habits in others.

It can get in to a bad habit

Taking even a few minutes to reflect on what others think of you can perhaps form a toxic habit.  This could lead to a highly negative routine of where you think in an unfavorable way about yourself. 

If it turns into a persistent enough habit, your bad mood can lead in to a depressed state of mind. This may lead to potentially ruining your day to day life. This is one of the most important reasons to not care about what others think of you at all.

It’s your life

You studied hard; you’re working hard now & you earn what you have.  Then, you should be the one making the decisions on your life based on how you see fit. No one should be able to influence you in to thinking that their way of doing something or way of living is the better for you. 

Other people could do whatever they want and you should have that privilege too.  You need to free yourself from anyone else’s expectations to be a truly independent individual.

In the end, nothing really matters, except…

Not one person who is around in this world would be alive in 100 years from now. Ok, let’s say 130 just to be safe!  The point of the matter is, no matter how bad things are right now, or what people say about you or perceive you as, it all means absolutely nothing! 

It doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things at all.  So live in the present and be content & happy in the moment that is now.

What you feel, what you go through, and what you do, there have been millions before you and there will be millions after you in the same vein.  Given that, the only thing that matters is the good you have done to the world & to the people you consider close to you & your family.  

In conclusion

Remember, you’ve got only one life to live. And the last thing you need to is to live it on someone else’s ideals.  It’s in your hands to free yourself from the perception that you need to live a cookie cutter life. Be yourself.

Mute the surrounding noises. Focus on yourself, forge your own path, do your own thing and live your life as you see fit.  Help those you can, treasure your loved ones, and your life will be as meaningful as you want it to be. And always, remember to care less about what others think of you.

Did you find the article helpful?  What insights do you have based on your life experiences?  Give your thoughts in the comments section below.  Adios!